


Coffee, Curses, Kisses

by wakandan_wardog



Series: Wardog's Tony Stark Bingo 2019 [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Clueless Boys In Love, Curse Breaking, Curses, Domestic Avengers, F/M, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Magic, Magic Made Them Do It, Mostly It's Weird, Multi, Nearly Everyone Kisses, The Avengers Are Good Bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-10-28 20:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17794397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakandan_wardog/pseuds/wakandan_wardog
Summary: Tony Stark drags himself out of his workshop on a regular Thursday morning. Well, mostly a regular morning. Except for Clint Barton lying on the breakfast bar in themed underwear. The theme is new, the rest is depressingly familiar. Ok, so maybe the rose petals are new too. (What the hell, Clint?) It's enough to make a billionaire grateful for the Avengers Alarm.Wait a minute,magictoo? Fuck, this is justnotTony's day.(Until it really, really is.)This is a Fill for Tony Stark Bingo 2019S4: FIRST KISS





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> котенок- Kitten

Tony wishes he could say with certainty that something as mundane as a standard American holiday had brought the Avengers out of the Tower. Wishes he could claim that Valentine’s Day was the reason the whole team had ascended upon the streets of New York at nine a.m, on a sunny Thursday. Of course, it would be a horrible lie and utterly pointless to boot. They all knew why they were out here, at this hour, because it was the same reason as always.

The Avengers were called to deal with a threat to lives that a standard police force lacked the training and manpower to counteract.

Though the Team had been gathered for a breakfast meeting, it had been an informal setting. Tony’s first clue that this ordinary Thursday was something more came in the form of the unique headache that was Clint Barton. Or rather, the headache that was Clint Barton in novelty heart-covered boxers with a rose clenched in his teeth. There were more petals scattered on the bar and on the floor immediately in front of it.

It was mostly the flowers that seemed out of the ordinary, sadly.

Tony had staggered to a halt in the doorway, blinking at the blond man lounging on the breakfast bar for several moments. He couldn’t help but wonder where the bar chairs had gone, though he had no interest in asking. Weirdly, Clint didn’t say a word, merely smirked around the rose and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Eventually, the desire for coffee won out and Tony shook off the shock of it, shuffling past the counter to find Rogers and Barnes working around each other in their weird co-dependent way. It was one part strange dance ritual and one part efficient routine. Steve was flipping pancakes and scrambling eggs while James was making a fruit salad at a speed that was frankly alarming, a large pitcher of fresh-squeezed orange juice standing at his elbow.

“Why?” Tony mumbled, frowning at the barricade of bottles and jars in front of his beloved coffee maker.

“He hasn’t said.” Rogers and Barnes answer in unison, not even looking up from their tasks.

Tony frowned, shaking his head slowly. “... No.”  

James would never admit out loud how fast he looked up at the soft, whiny sound. He looked right past Clint as though the archer wasn’t even there, blue eyes fixing on the sleep-rumpled billionaire. Eyes sweeping from Tony’s sleep-spiked hair to his slightly-singed pajamas, the sniper gave a faint smile and shuffled sideways, hefting a doctored mug and giving it a slight jostle.

“C’mere  котенок ,” He crooned. “I got you covered.”

Tony looked adorably suspicious, frowning blearily and refusing to inch forward for all that his greatest desire is being waved in his direction. Instead, his hands clenched tighter on the dirty mug in his grasp. “Wha? Frosty, wha’ ‘sat mean?”

“Don’t you worry ‘bout that now,” The brunet man smirked, pretending to raise the mug toward his mouth. “But if you don’t want it.”

“No!” Tony whined. “I do! Don’t be mean, Brooklyn Light.”

“Hey now,” James frowned playfully. “Don’t be like that, Doll. If anyone is Brooklyn Lite, it’s this golden boy over here. You know he’s been enhanced with other flavors, right? I’m the original recipe.”

“You’re an ass, Buck,” Steve muttered as he flipped yet another perfect pancake onto the slowly rising tower of them sitting on the counter. His eyes never left the skillet, where two more were just beginning to bubble. “You’re not all original anymore, either.”

“Oh, make fun of the one-armed man.” Barnes sighed, flipping and catching a knife with his shining left hand. “See what the future has done to you? Kids these days.”

“Tony please take the coffee away from him.” Steve sighed wearily. “He doesn’t deserve any more, and it’ll be a bit before I can make a fresh pot.”

“... okay.” Tony muttered, still suspicious as he shuffled across the kitchen.

“Gotta give that mug up.” Bucky coaxed, setting the mug down on a counter to his right, away from where Clint continued to lounge. “It’s dirty, and possibly growing a new civilization. Give it up.”

“It’s not that bad…” Drawing to a halt beside the counter, Tony glared down at the empty mug in his hand for a moment, then sighed. It did look suspicious. “... fine.”

Bucky watched in quiet satisfaction as Tony set down the mug he had brought in with him, and carefully reached out to the cup the Soldier had just relinquished. He was pleased with the drink, and the pretty cream and foam art heart he’d managed to pour into it. Not that Tony was likely to notice it, but at least he’d taken the drink.

“Good morning to you too, Stark.”

Tony sipped half the drink and gave a deep sigh, smirking at the Soldier as the caffeine did its work. “Barnes… Noble.”

“Hilarious, Tony.” Steve sighed. “Sit, breakfast will be ready in a little bit.”

“But, meeting?” Tony whined.

“Breakfast meeting.” Steve corrected. “In which you eat. So sit, Tony.”

“Fine. Fine.” The billionaire grumbled as he stomped toward the table. “Ordered around in my own tower… what’s next? JARVIS WHERE ARE THE DAMN BAR CHAIRS?”

“I confess that Mr. Barton has moved them to make way for his, er, display, sir.” The AI chimed in, regret audible in his tone. “They’ve been placed in the office so they are sufficiently out of eye-line so as not to disrupt the performance art occurring on the breakfast bar.”

“I miss them already.” Tony sighed, sliding into a seat and pouting into his drink. “How long will this go on?”

“Probably about fifteen seconds after Tasha sees him and reaches for her Widow’s Bites,” Steve mock-whispered over the sound of Barnes’s laugh.

“What the hell, Barton?” Sam squawks as he stumbles into the room a moment later. “Why are my corneas being assaulted by your pasty ass first thing in the morning? I did not deserve this.”

“That’s what you think,” Barnes muttered, hissing as Steve smacked him with a convenient serving spoon. “Ouch! Son of a bitch, Steve.”

“No swearing over breakfast.” Sam crowed, just as Natasha stepped into the room.

“Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk.” She joked without hesitation, before drawing to a halt and staring at Clint.

“Christ, how does anyone deal with you all the time?” James swore.

Tony stared at Natasha’s face, studying her in between sips of what was possibly the best cup of coffee he’d had in years. Not that he’d tell Barnes that, he was too busy trying to decipher the creasing of Natasha’s brow. Was she pleased? Was she going to murder Barton with a fork? He wasn’t a breakfast person and no one could put him off his coffee, so he was hoping she’d let him get a refill and then spectate if that was the case.

“Surprise?” Barnes murmured from his corner of the kitchen, prompting Tony to snort into his mug. “He’s here, he’s half-naked, please take him away. You don’t even have to ravish him, just get him out of my sight.”

“I see our Friend Barton has honored us with a vision of his pleasing form!” Thor crowed as he entered the room with his usual joviality. “Congratulations, you are a vision. Excuse me, fair Lady Natasha, I would prefer to start tea.”

“Thanks, Thor,” Bruce mumbled, giving a half smile as he skirted around Tasha and walked past Clint without comment. “Tony, you’re up early.”

“Up late,” Tony argued. “Ran out of coffee.”

“You aren’t supposed to be staying up all night.” Bruce reminded him with a sigh. “Remember? Healthy habits?”

“Bruce. Brucie bear. Bruce the Science Shark.” Tony wheedled. “There were power naps, don’t frown. Besides! Don’t you want to hear what revolutionary technology I was inventing while you were asleep in your bed, counting beakers?”

“No,” Bruce argued, the scientist clearly gearing up for a lecture. “I wasn’t counting beakers, Tony. Don’t you remember the conv-”

The sudden scream of the alarm derailed everything, prompting Steve to shut off the stove, fling his spatula, and rip off the apron Tony somehow missed he was wearing. “Avengers, Assemble!”

“Ruining all my fucking plans.” Clint wore as he spat out his rose and leapt, flinging a handful of petals into the air as he launched himself off the counter. He and Tasha sprinted down the hall toward the express elevator, heading straight for the hanger. “Jet hot in ten!”

“WE KNOW WHAT THE ALARM MEANS, STEVE,” Sam shouted as he bolted for the hallway. “QuinJet hangar in seven!”

“Friend Stark, shall we lead the charge?” Thor beamed, spinning Mjolnir with a flourish.

“Awww Sparky, if you insist.” Tony cooed. “We’ll try to leave a piece for you Brooklyn boys. But you two better hustle.”

“If you start a fight before we get there, Stark, you’re gonna get it,” Bucky warned before tearing down the hall toward the stairs. “I mean it!”

“So touchy.” Tony sighed. “Like he’s worried he won’t get to hit something.”

“I am sure that is not the reason, Stark.” Thor smiled indulgently. “Come now, summon your great suit and let us be off to foil the plot of whichever villain dare spoil this magnificent day.”

Tony is saved from asking precisely what makes it magnificent by the whine of incoming repulsors and the ominous rumble of thunder. Shrugging and splaying his arms wide to welcome the arrival of his suit, he watches a strike of lightning hit Thor’s hammer and the sudden appearance of the god’s armor. No matter how cool it looks, it’s still magic.

_ Fuck magic. _

_ *  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Away at a dog show, but another chapter coming soon.


	2. Chapter 2

No serious, _fuck magic_.

Tony admits to himself, as an obnoxious cloud of green magic light slams him face-first into the street, that he could have gone a _lifetime_ without running into one of Thor’s exes. Considering the trouble that the God of Lightning’s obnoxious adopted sibling had wrought, he could even be persuaded to say _two_ lifetimes. Two whole lifetimes and he still wouldn’t want to meet one of Thor’s exes.

But no one asked him.

And so here one stood. Amora -The Enchantress- was here to prove that the God of Thunder was an idiot for letting someone like her get away. He was apparently twice the fool for falling in love with something as common as a Midgardian.

(Which Tony would argue was wildly inaccurate. Jane Foster was a genuine gem, and as far as he can tell this jealous Asgardian was no different than ninety percent of the women that had chased after him his entire life. Tony was definitely willing to get into a fist-fight to defend Foster’s good name if the God of Flashy-Bits-and-Annoying-Foes wouldn’t do it himself.)

Because she was here on Earth, here _in_ earth lay Tony Stark. Here he lay, face down in the concrete as some screaming blonde super-femme turned her back on him and went back to hunting Thor. Evidently, she’d heard Thor had previously courted a mortal and was taking it as a grievous insult. As such, Amora -the Enchantress, which really Thor? _Really_?- was here to prove to Thor that such a slight against her was a mistake.

Tony hadn’t had time to tell her that Jane and Thor had split up, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t matter much in the long run. Telling her that who Thor decided to date wasn’t actually about her probably wouldn’t go over well either. Crazy, vengeful exes were like that.

Or crazy, stalker would-be girlfriends? He hasn’t quite figured out the dynamic yet. It’s hard to ask questions when he’s being slammed into the highway from a few hundred feet.

With a world-weary sigh that he feels he’s beyond entitled to, Tony slowly climbs out of his customized crater in a groan of metal and a wheeze of servos. The newest iteration of the suit has thankfully weathered the strike with minimal scarring, a bit of paint and a slight scorch pattern showing across the crimson of his lower abdomen and the gold that covered his ribs. The metal is still whole and solid, showing no sign of pitting or puncture. Whatever her tricks are, they don’t seem to be armor piercing yet.

Across the street and down about a block, Thor wrestles the Enchantress into the engine block of an unlucky Honda Civic, the metal groaning under the weight of two Asgardians. Tony winces as the car crumples like paper, watching it fold down into the asphalt. Amora is no slouch, that much is clear, and she makes Thor work to keep her restrained.

“Content to kiss any cow that crosses your path?” Amora snarls, her voice carrying to them all like the chime of a death bell. “Perhaps you should learn to regret that.”

Tony has time to swear and scan the field as a bright green light fills his vision until the HUD disappears and he’s forced to shut his eyes against the glow. Tears stream down his face as his vision fills with pops of color, even against the dark. Whatever happens, he’s quietly thankful that his last sight had been of his team members scattered and hidden around the impromptu battlefield.

Sam had been silhouetted against the bright blue of the sky, soaring high, watching Thor’s back and muttering angles to Steve. Clint and Barnes were posted on different rooftops of varying heights, taking shots at the minions of the moment when they had the chance. Steve had been shielding Natasha behind a parked car, the two of them barking out different attack maneuvers over the comms and speculating about whether it was even possible to disarm their opponent. Though he can’t see his ScienceBro, he knows that Bruce is safe back in the QuinJet, supervising from coms and JARVIS’s standard hack of traffic cams and the HUD.

He thinks maybe he’s sad he didn’t get to see James face to face one last time, but all in all, it’s not so bad.

*

On a rooftop just off the main avenue, the Winter Soldier sprawls, picking off the latest villain’s weird little minions with a rifle that nearly sings in his hands. He’s in love with his custom Stark weapon, keeps crooning pet names to her under his breath. She hasn’t told him what to call her yet, but he’s got all the time in the world. And maybe once they get along better he can work on what to give Tony to thank the genius for his thoughtfulness.

It would be a good start, anyway.

Between one minute and the next Bucky finds himself blinded, even though his Stark-modified goggles, a searing green light making him swear and bury his face against his arms as he squeezes the trigger one last time. He’s confident of the shot, but he’s not willing to fire further until he can reassess the scene.

“Winter here, I do not have eyes on. Any chance you can spot for me, IronAngel?”

There’s no response on the Avengers Line, only static remains.

*

High above the field, Sam Wilson swears as searing light fills his vision. The immediate glare and subsequent color bursts don’t seem to have been prevented by his HUD compatible goggles, and he focuses on keeping himself in a steady glide as he waits for his eyes to reacclimate.

“Falcon,” He grits out over coms. “Focusing on flying blind, that last blast got me too. No eyes on.”

There’s only silence where Steve’s usual response would be, and Sam wishes he could say that it didn’t concern him. But he’s blinded and alone in the sky right now; at least the reassurance of a friendly voice would have been welcome.

*

“Pinned down with Tasha,” Steve tries to announce over the coms. “We’ve got adequate shelter, but can’t see a damn thing. Stay out of trouble, alright? No heroic moves and no one taking shots until you’re cleared. That looked pretty bad.”  

“He was closest, so does anyone know if Thor is ok?” Natasha wonders, freezing as she realizes that the only reason she heard Steve’s voice was because he is practically wrapped around her. Their coms are dead, and they can’t reach the team.

*

Clint sees Thor take Amora down hard, and as soon as he’s fired the arrow in hand he’s in motion. Sprinting across the rooftop he easily builds speed to clear the alley, landing in a roll that tumbles him right back onto his feet. He’s at the edge of the roof and sighting on the dueling Asgardians when light explodes, searing his vision white-hot and then shadow-black. The spinning of colors and shapes makes him dizzy, and he slides down to one knee with a groan.

“Anyone listening? The deaf guy is also currently blind, and really pissed about it. Someone shoot her for me?” He mutters bitterly, frowning when silence is the only response. “Guys?”

*

JARVIS experiences true fear when the HUD for IronMan fills with light and goes dark, all the coms cutting out in the crackling burst of whatever attack the Sorceress emits as her final rally. The AI has reason to believe Thor and the SuperSoldiers are moderately safe, but his concern for Sir, the human spies and the airborne Falcon make him rush to reconnect to all the devices he had formerly monitored. StarkTech Comms wouldn’t have given up so easily, but SHIELD had insisted on their own mandated tech for official Avengers missions.

He could only hope that the HUD would recover before the inferior communications devices, so he and Sir could gloat before beginning to compile evidence as to why a switch should be made. Clearly, it was time for the matter to be moved up their priority list, in light of recent events.

 _‘I will bring it up to Sir immediately,’_ The AI decided. _‘As soon as the HUD recovers…’_

As soon as he was able to.

*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa there, beware of cliffs! Wardog here with a new chapter update from the safety of home. More soon!


	3. Chapter 3

Still trapped on a roof and unwilling to fire until his vision returns, James Barnes swears under his breath as he presses his face down into the cool metal plates of his arm. The combination of Stark Tech and Wakandan Vibranium hums softly under the pressure, the plates gently resettling and inner workings murmuring quietly. The feel of the metal against his forehead does little to chase away the migraine that has leaped up and begun thundering behind his eyes, but thankfully the starbursts of color seem to be fading. He knows that if he gives it a minute the serum will probably get rid of the headache too, but he can’t bring himself to wait that long. He has to find out what happened to the rest of his team. In the distance, the city is all sounds of traffic, far-off screams, the wail of sirens. He won’t figure anything out from here.

“Avengers?” He mutters, prying his eyes open and glancing around. There are large bursts of light and color still marring his vision, but the sky looks mostly empty above him. _Shit_.

The Soldier is on his feet and moving across the rooftop in an instant, sliding the strap of his rifle into place across his chest. If anything else goes sideways he wants his hands free, at the least. Between the fierce burn of the sun and the lingering after-images, James figures he’s probably down to human levels of efficiency for the next minute or two. Still, when he reaches the edge of the roof and peers down to where he last saw Steve and Tasha before things started exploding, what he can see is enough to tell him that the smoke-filled battlefield below is slowly clearing. Resettling the rifle securely he rolls his shoulder and then leaps, catching a fire escape rail mid-way down to slow his descent. The landing is an easy one, compared to some of his others, and he’s out of the blind alley and into the street in moments, searching for his best friend.

“Anyone copy me?” He growls, tapping at the communications device in his ear as he walks. “Winter here, mostly recovered, no eyes on the team. Any of you punks wanna chime in?”

*

It’s automatic for Tony to adjust course, banking sharply and angling upwards in a swift demand for height. The goal is to get up above where he might run the risk of colliding with a blind Thor or Falcon, and avoid buildings while he’s at it. So far, so good.

“You still with me, kiddo?” Tony mumbles into the quiet of his helmet, fighting the urge to panic when JARVIS does not reply. He somewhat suspected that would be the case, and refuses to let the immediate sure of fear to take over. “Come on… you had to know I was just kidding about the college thing.”

There’s still a low hiss of static in the suit, telling him coms are out, but his repulsors never falter.

“JARVIS? Come on, kid… Talk to me.”

*

Amora The Enchantress departs Earth in the same manner as she had arrived, on a sudden whim and while delivering a scornful comment to Thor. Before she and her entourage depart in their burst of light, the Asgardian woman gives a final laugh. _“You will soon see if your love is true.”_

Moments later, Steve can still hear her words echoing around in his head. The ringing that had filled his ears had already faded, and the lights slowly vanished as he sat up from his sprawl against the vehicle he had sheltered behind. Whatever Amora had done when she left, the shockwave had knocked him and Tasha over and pushed some cars and debris across the battlefield. Thankfully, the redheaded former assassin didn’t seem to have taken any damage.

“Widow?” Steve mumbles, curling a hand under her elbow. “You alright?”

“I don’t know,” Natasha mutters, sounding sour but not like she’s breathing poorly. “Can’t see yet.”

“No hostiles,” Steve reports after a quick glance around. He pops the buckle on the chinstrap of his helmet, running a hand from the shallow cut on his jaw to linger over the dent in his helmet. Well, that explains why there’s a tender spot at his temple. It’ll be gone in a minute, but he thinks it’s part of the reason his vision seems a little foggy. “No sign of any victims in the area, either.”

“She didn’t want collateral damage, she wanted Thor.” Natasha sniped back. “Look for him. And help me stand, would you?”

There’s a shuffling series of steps in the distance as the Falcon comes in for a landing, Sam trotting up to them as his wings fold to his back. His red goggles are in place and seemingly undamaged, but his armor and the bare skin of his arms and face is covered in a mix of sweat and battle grit. There are blast points on his armor as well like he took a few hits and possibly clipped a solid object or two, leading to scrapes and dents.

Still, he looks better than Steve was beginning to fear, and the Captain exhales in relief. “Sam.”

“Cap.” The Falcon retorts with a half-smirk. “You ok? That light show was something else.”

“Asgardians like to be flashy, haven’t you heard?” Murmurs Natasha as she watches Steve stand with narrow eyes, waiting for him to offer her a hand.

“I hadn’t,” Sam replies earnestly. “Between the Brooklyn kid wearing the flag, and the Billionaire in his flying tin can, some of the more subtle things get lost.”

“Hilarious.” Steve gives Sam a playful glare before turning back to Natasha.

Worried by the way she seems a little dazed, he gently sweeps his hand to one side, trying to see if she’s tracking. If she is, she doesn’t show interest in the movement, squinting like she’s glaring at his general shape and not following anything with finer detail. Steve swallows his worry, trying to keep his tone level. “Widow, can you follow my hand?”

“You’re not a medic,” Tasha replies in a tone that is positively acidic. “If you’re going to tell me to sit this one out, I will stab for whatever I can reach.”

“You ain’t that tall.” Sam chimes in dryly, feigning concern. “I say you let the lady stand.”

“Follow my hand, then,” Steve grumbles, repeating the gentle sweep of movement left and then right.

Natasha follows with a faint turn of her head, then just her eyes, showing no issued with movement or focus. Wordlessly Steve offers her an arm and she takes it, allowing him to pull her gently to her feet. When she’s standing she gives Steve a nod and glances to Sam, offering him a faint smile. “Did you land blind?

“Just about half.” Sam shrugs slightly, eyes narrowing as Steve releases Natasha’s arm and she sways immediately. “You ok?

“Fine.” She murmurs, lifting one hand to her temple with a wince. “Coms still down, do we know if everyone’s alright?”

Steve yanks his helmet off, blond hair in sweat-spiked disarray, staring at her in concern. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? Did her last shot hit you?”

“Looked like it hit all of you,” Bucky chimes in, dropping down from a nearby rooftop and stalking over. His expression is unreachable behind his goggles and the muzzle. “You alright, Punk?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Steve murmured. “Tasha?” 

Natasha lifts her head, frowning up at Steve for a moment before a beatific smile overtakes her face. “Steve.”

Sam and James look at her with concern, both of them made wary by the out of character expression and the faint fluttery tone to her voice. Steve doesn’t seem to notice, his eyes have gone just as soft. There's a weird synchronization to them, Steve leaning down toward her at the same time Natasha steps into him. They move like they're in a fog, like the others have just disappeared off the planet. Natasha beams wider as she reaches up, hands gently framing his jaw as she brushes her thumbs over the arch of his cheeks. That done, she literally hauls him down to her, pressing their mouths together with ardent attention that makes James nearly choke on his own tongue in surprise.

_What?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I've been away, and most of you know the reason... so I can only say I'm working through things and I've got a few updates to make up for it. Thanks for all your understanding and kind words, lovely readers.


	4. Chapter 4

There are several heartbeats of awkward silence, before James breaks and speaks without thinking. “Widow, what the hell?”

Sam looks stunned, jaw hanging wide open. He doesn’t even startle at the sound of an ungraceful landing in the alley behind them, though the Soldier can’t help but turn to confirm visually that it isn’t a threat. It isn’t, of course, it’s only Hawkeye climbing out of a dumpster. Not an enemy, not a threat, but not a moment anyone really wants to miss either.

Too bad Sam is ignoring it, but he’s still staring at the Widow and the Captain and looking appalled. Bucky almost hopes Tony is somewhere filming, because someone should be. Barton looks pissed as he throws himself over the edge of the metal container and lands in the street, stomping toward them and complaining loudly all the way.

“First everyone ditches me on coms, then you guys decide to meet on the street without me, and now this? What the hell? Why is Cap kissing my assassin?” Clint turns and glares at Bucky, his goggles cracked and all of him smeared with dirt and brickwork grit, to say nothing of the garbage clinging to his tac-pants. “Damn it, Barnes! That’s why he has you!”

“I’m not Cap’s to kiss!” Is the first thing out of Bucky’s mouth, though he’s honestly not sure why in the hell that was what his brain chose to focus on. _Nice one, Barnes_. “Why the hell should I know why they’re kissing?”

“You’re standing here!” Clint swats at his right arm as if to prove a point.

The Soldier growls, pointing at Sam as he snarls. “So is your wingman! Besides, I’m standing next to her when she lets you live after you roll around on food surfaces, in your underwear! I never understand her motivation to let you continue breathing! Why would _this_ be any different!”

Clint visibly bristles, tearing his goggles off his face so he can glare straight at Bucky rather than through the cracked lenses. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Since the skin beneath the goggles is the only clean place on him, he looks rather like a raccoon in reverse. Sam doesn’t call him out on it, but between that and the fact that Barton just climbed out of a dumpster… Well, Falcon has ammo, for later. _If_ Barton survives tangling with the Winter Soldier.

“It means that if you were my boyfriend I would have _shot you by now_!” Bucky nearly roars.

And that? Well, that is just too sweet a target for Falcon to pass up. He takes the shot, even if it may lead to his death later. (The Soldier is a _vengeful_ bastard.)

“Don’t make me bribe Stark to attend breakfast in his underwear just to prove you wrong, man.” Sam mumbles, sounding both amused and indescribably tired as he rubs at his forehead. “Because I will, but I’ll hate myself for it.”

“Wilson, I will _end_ you.” The Soldier warns with a rumbling growl. He just barely manages to hold back a snarl, but his voice is rough with warning. “And they will never, _never_ find the body.”

“Just trying to make a point, man.” Sam shrugs, unconcerned, looking relieved with the awkwardly deep Widow/Captain kiss ends at last. “Finally! You guys get that out of your system?”

Steve straightens up, looking over Natasha’s shoulder at the three gathered members of his team with something like confusion. A moment later his eyes fix on a sulky looking Clint, and he gets that strangely affectionate look he had given Tasha before she lunged at him. His eyes going half-lidded and soft, Steve steps around Tasha without hesitation, heading straight for the blond archer.

Before any of them can think to react, Steve is chest to chest with Clint, an arm wrapped around his lower back and the other tilting the archer’s head up and into his kiss. Clint, for his part, doesn’t hesitate in the slightest. Looks delighted with the whole turn of events. One hand curls up over Cap’s chest and the other wraps around to fist in his hair, pulling on the Super Soldier even as Cap literally lifts him to his toes in the kiss.

Sam watches them kiss for several seconds and then says what both Bucky and he are thinking. “What. The. Hell.”

Even Natasha looks confused, which is weird in itself.

When the liplock continues for several heartbeats, Sam heaves a sigh and looks at Natasha wearily. “Did you guys start a threesome without telling me?”

“Why would I do that?”

Bucky gives Natasha an unimpressed look, which she can’t read through his mask and goggles but she knows him well enough to interpret the shift of his attention and the way he tilts his head. For her part, Natasha frowns at Sam and Bucky like they’re the problem, and both of them stare back at her, wordlessly offended. Bucky may never agree with Sam Wilson about anything else in his life, but at this moment, they’re squarely on the same page. If their teammates are making out in public, _they are not the problem_.

“Don’t look at us like we’re crazy.” Sam snaps, pointing at her. “No, no. I did nothing to justify that look. You just- you, Soldier, help me out would you?”

“What the bird is trying to say is you just made out with Stevie, on a public street, and now he and Clint are kissing,” Bucky states in the flattest tone he can manage. “You let Clint climb out of a dumpster in public, without a word, and now he’s kissing Steve. And you’re standing there, looking at us like we’re being strange.”

Sam cuts in, wheedling. “You have to see that this is weird. I mean, it was seconds ago, Natasha. Literally seconds and they’re now making out like someone is a lost love home from war.”

“After Clint was in a dumpster,” Bucky notes, gesturing to the dumpster in question with a sweep of one hand. "They're making out after Clint was in a _dumpster_."

This, at least, makes Natasha wrinkle her nose and frown a little.

It’s clearly not enough of a reaction for Sam, who literally throws his hands in the air dramatically. “I don’t believe this. I’m in hell.”

“You’re not making out with a Fresh-From-the-Dumpster Clint.” Bucky points out helpfully. “It could be worse.”

“And I am glad I’m not.” Sam retorts emphatically. “Glad, don’t you think I’m not. But that doesn’t solve the seventeen other issues I currently have with this situation.”

“Only seventeen, huh?” Bucky is asking with idle curiosity when Natasha’s head whips around and she squints up at the sky.

Thor sweeps down from the clouds above and lands with a fairly sedate crackle of energy, at least by his normal standards. But instead of booming about great victory he drops Mjolnir to one side, sweeping Natasha into his arms when she bolts for him. It is once again weirdly choreographed like they’ve done it a dozen times.

Bucky wishes he could say everything’s normal, but now Natasha is making out with the God of Thunder and Steve is just now letting Hawkeye stand on his own again. He does not get paid enough for this.

“Are you kidding me!?!” Sam is screeching off to the side. “THOR TOO? WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS TEAM?”

James is saved from answering by the separation of Clint and Steve, who separate and look back toward the team with placid, neutral expressions.

“I am officially freaked out,” Sam interjects, his tone going a little higher pitched than normal, and sounding strained. “You guys promised no Team Orgies when I joined. Steve, you _promised_ me.”

“I wanna point out that I never promised that.” Bucky shoots at Sam, just because he can. “Granted, I'd pass if you were invited, but I just wanted to make the point. I didn't agree to that, and neither did Clint, I would bet on it.”

Steve looks at them in confusion, like he didn’t just kiss Clint silent, stupid, and very red-lipped. Bucky wants to unsee just about everything he’s witnessed today. He’d give anything to rewind to breakfast this morning, even if he had to re-watch Clint in his boxers stunt.

Thankfully the coms crackle into being, though no one seems to notice but Bucky.

“Soldier.” JARVIS murmurs in his usual brisk tone. “I am connecting you back to Sir now, it seems the Enchantress’s departure caused an issue with the issued SHIELD tech. I trust you are unharmed.”

“Not a scratch,” Bucky reports, something warm and purring in his chest that he’s the first one the AI reaches out to. “Rest of the team is fine. Well, Natasha’s making out with Thor and Clint just kissed Captain America. So by the rest of the world’s standards, they’re probably fantastic, I guess. Sam and I are kinda wishin’ we were anywhere else. Iron Man okay?”

“Sir is unharmed.” Replies the AI, hesitation creeping in. “I am assuming that based on your tone this is less a celebratory custom post-battle and more-”

“Are you talkin’ to JARVIS?” Sam demands, whipping around to face Bucky suddenly. “You tell him, you tell him right now that every one of our teammates has lost their minds. Where the hell is Stark? He better be able to fix this.”

“Sir has several Doctorates and varying degrees, Mr. Wilson,” JARVIS replies on their newly linked coms. “But one in ‘people’ is not among them. Perhaps requesting the team keep their celebratory gestures to those less likely to draw the attention of the press would be sufficient?”

“Not a normal situation.” Bucky tries to relate as Sam literally goes ultrasonic next to him. There’s a shrieky noise of rage coming from Sam that tells Bucky exactly why the man is nicknamed ‘Falcon’. Interestingly, the Soldier didn't know humans could make sounds like that.

“Natasha just kissed Captain America, after SMILING, in PUBLIC on a NEW YORK STREET!” Wilson begins yelling as Bucky loses patience and steps away from the cluster of people. “Do you really think that ASKING is going to change that?”

“Pretty sure they’re compromised.” Tony’s voice cuts into the Soldier’s attention, drawing and focusing it skyward as he searches for the sound of repulsors that herald the approach of the suit. “Not like Tasha to let her guard down in public. Even if she and Cap were an item. Also, did anyone miss me?”

“Pretty sure they ain’t,” James admits. “I like ta think Stevie would have told me about it. And even if he and Tasha were steppin’ out? I don’t think that’d explain why he made out with Clint right afterward. Or why Thor kissed Tasha. All that aside, don’t you worry none, Gorgeous. _I_ missed you.”

“Wow, my team is having an orgy on Main Street and I’m not invited?” Tony sighed loudly. “I’m not sure how to take that, honestly. Does my reported experience intimidate you?”

“I would think the experience would be an advantage in that sort of situation.” The Soldier muses. “Was I not in the room when you offered to show us the ropes if the team ever wanted to have an orgy? I don’t think I’d forget something like that.”

“It never came up,” Tony admits and then snort-giggles adorably to himself. “‘ _Never came up’_... Well… how’s about that? My how the times do change. Oh well, is there any chance I can still get myself on your dance card, Sarge?”

“Pretty sure it ain’t an orgy yet, but you’re flyin’ awfully slow Sweetcheeks.” The Soldier teases back because he can. “It might be by the time you get here. As for my dance card, well, if you want on it, it’s all yours.”

“That’s rude and untrue.” The billionaire grumbles, pushing the suit faster. “Technically, by definition, I believe an orgy requires six people in a circle, possibly with their shoes off. Which is odd, because isn’t sex referred to as knocking boots?”

“It would make my day if you guys would stop makin’ out,” Sam grumbles loudly to Thor and Natasha. “I’m not saying I’ve got delicate sensibilities, but this is not what a healthy, functioning team dynamic looks like.”

“Pretty sure they all got their shoes on still.” Bucky can’t help but smile, ignoring Sam’s increasing volume. “Your reputation is safe, you ain’t missin’ out on the first Avengers Orgy.”

“In public, no less.” Tony sighs. “I would never live it down.”

In the background, Sam begins yelling. “THERE IS NOT GONNA BE A DAMN ORGY, IN PUBLIC OR OTHERWISE.”

“Keep shouting, Falcon.” Tony gripes. “I don’t think they heard you in _Queens_.”

The Soldier shoots Falcon a warning look, and in case he can’t read it due to gear, James draws a threatening finger across his throat. Shut it, now. “Anyway, Stark? You headin’ back to us?”

“Right. Yes, I was just a little off course after Amora’s departure and my momentary blindness.”

“Didn’t clip any buildings, did you?” The Soldier purrs. “I’d hate to have you on the floor at anything less than your best. It’d make for a long night, after all, you bein’ the only name on my card.”

“Every dance?” Tony’s voice goes fluttery. “Soldier, what will everyone say? I thought two back to back was a scandal, if I only dance with you, what will the girls think about me?”

“That you locked down one hell of a guy and you’re gonna let him show you a good time because you deserve it?” James retorts in a half playful, half hopeful tone. “I know you’d want a man that can last longer than two songs. Not that you’re off the hook, don’t think I didn’t notice your lack of an answer about getting hurt.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Tony replied breezily. “Coms are up, my HUD is live, and your trackers still function. Coming to you now, try not to miss me too hard until I get there.”

“I never miss.” Bucky teased. “But you know I always miss you.”

“Flatterer.”

“Y'all are gross,” Sam mutters bitterly. “Just gross.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings from vacation, have a fresh chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

The fact that listening to the Winter Soldier flirt with Iron Man on open coms isn’t even the third worst thing about his day makes Sam Wilson question just why the hell he got into this superhero gig. Grumbling under his breath he shuffles over to where Barnes stands alone, elbowing the Soldier gently in the ribs. Somehow, the gesture has become a habitual greeting for the two of them.

“ _Ahem_?” Falcon muttered. “I hate to interrupt but:  _‘I never miss but I always miss you’_? Seriously? What even is that about, man?”

The Soldier bares his teeth in a gesture that is more warning than grin, eyeing the winged fighter. “You don’t get to start with me right now, okay? You wanna say something? Go talk to someone who’s been makin’ out with a teammate.”

“I’m not hatin’ on it, man,” Sam says with a lift of his palms and an innocent look. “I’m just commenting, that’s all.”

“Tony and I say stuff all the time, it ain’t weird,” James growls. “Don’t be weird about it.”

“I mean yeah, Tony says stuff all the time.” Sam shrugs. “Even Clint says stuff a lot of the time. But you, man? You don’t say anything. You’re usually in Soldier mode, so you just smash through the problem and move on.”

“No reason to be in Soldier mode, the threat is gone.” James points out with a waving gesture of his hand at the empty battlefield around them. “All that’s left is my best friend makin’ out with an idiotic archer… And my ex with the Alien God of Thunder, apparently.”

Sam glances over his shoulder at the group in question and shakes his head. “Man, I want to say that maybe it’s something in the water but we all live at the same place. And if it was something in the environment, they were all at different posts in the field…. And since the fight ended, you and I have been standing here with them... “

“So if it was something here, we should also be symptomatic.” James sighed, pulling the black mask of the Winter Soldier off and taking a deep breath of air as he hung it from his tac belt. A moment later he gave Sam a look and a shrug. “Doesn’t smell or taste any different than a normal New York lungful.”

“Any urge to kiss me?” Asked Sam warily, stepping back a half-stride and looking at him with narrowed eyes.

James gave him a flat, unimpressed look, then sighed as he remembered he was still wearing his goggles so the sheer weight of his glare was shielded. Whatever, Falcon should know him by now. “Trust me, Birdbrain, if at any point I get the urge to kiss ya? I’ll throw myself off the roof of the tower before I follow through.”

“Don’t joke, man,” Falcon warned him, poking at his ribs again. “You wanna make out with me and I’m not saving your ass. You’re a pancake in like a hundred stories.”

“Better than havin’ to kiss you,” Retorted the Soldier. "And plenty of time to regret that I even _had_ the thought as I fall all the way down." 

 

“What’s going on now?” Tony chimes in as Iron Man sweeps down and lands with a flourish. “Why do we need to save Bucky’s ass? Winter Worrier you know I’d never let anything happen to you. No supersoldier pancakes on my watch.”

“Awww HotRod, I’m glad to see you too.” James purred, grinning wide as the Iron Man helmet withdrew and he was faced with the riotous curls and deep brown eyes of his favorite billionaire. Not a scratch on Tony either, thank God. “Look at that, still pretty as a picture. You’re a sight for sore eyes, Doll.”

“Do those lines ever work for you, Snowflake?” Tony grumbled, folding his arms over his chest.

“Do they even count as lines? I’m just callin’ it as I see it, Sugar.” The Soldier returned, voice pitched soft and heavy with echoes of Brooklyn.

Looking between the two of them, the Falcon snorted and shook his head. “Cute, real cute.”

“I think you’re more than that, Tony.” James chirped just for the grin it earned.

The smile vanished later with a warning point from a red and golden hand. “Enough now.”

“Aww babe, I promise I was just gettin’ started.”

“Don’t you give me that line, Soldier,” Tony growled, frowning up at the Soldier. “Check in, let me see that face, Barnes.”

The Soldier can’t help but smile at the man, amused at the sight before him. “Don’t be angry at me, котенок. I’m fine.”

“Give it a rest, Barnes.” Tony did his best to rally, forcing himself to glare at the Soldier rather than giving in to the soft tone and playful pet names. “Goggles _off_.”

“Babe, if you wanna look at me I’ll stand here for ya all day.” The Soldier grinned, peeling off his goggles and stowing them in a pocket at his belt. “If that’s what’ll make you happy.”

“So you’re all about makin’ me happy now, huh?” Tony muttered, fighting a grin. “Tell me you didn’t get your dumb ass hurt.”

Looking into worried brown eyes, he shot Tony a slow, seductive smile. “Not a scratch, alright? There. Here I am, Sweet Thing. Do I get to demand you step out of the suit now, so I can check you out? Not cuz I think you got hurt, Doll Baby, but just because you’re so nice to look at.”

“If you guys are gonna strip each other down, can you do it not in front of me?” Sam interjected dryly. “I don’t want to think of that, and I  _definitely_ don’t want to see it.”

“Shut up Flatterer,” Tony shot at James, glancing toward Sam. “Stop imagining me naked, Falcon, you’re creeping me out.”

“Awww man,” Sam whined at him, grinning widely all the while. “Don’t say that shit with the Soldier right here, the last thing I want is to get on his bad side because he thinks I wanna see  _you_ naked.”

The Winter Soldier shot him a sharp smile, more a baring of teeth than a grin, and laughed when Wilson’s smile faded. Tony shook his head at the pair of them and turned his attention to the other half of the team, giving Clint a half-smile when he saw the archer looking their way.

“Hey there Birdbrain, I hear you got lucky and swapped spit with America the Beautiful. How was it?”

At the sound of Tony addressing the archer James turns, glaring as Hawkeye moves toward them with a more purposeful stride. He can see Clint’s eyes go soft and relaxed just the way Steve’s had before his previous kisses. It is because of that look that James is in motion before he thinks about it, catching Clint by the scruff of his costume just as he lunges toward a still unmasked Iron Man.  **No. Way. In. Hell.**

“Hey now,” He rumbles, shaking Clint like a misbehaving kitten. “ **No**. Snap out of it, Hawkeye.”

“Huh?” Clint mumbles, still looking at Tony with calf-eyes.

“This is getting too weird.” Sam chimes in from Tony’s other side, looking between the billionaire, Hawkeye, and the Soldier. “Whatever that magic is, looks like you got it for him too, Stark.”

“I don’t have anything for Barton,” Tony argues with a flat sweep of one armored arm. “Nothing, so let that rumor die right now, Wilson. You got a good hold on him, Buckaroo? I don’t fancy making out with our resident dumpster diver.”

“He’s not goin’ nowhere,” James promised quietly, giving Clint another shake and a glare. “Though I can’t really hold him like this forever, DollFace. You got a backup plan?”

“Well, I was thinking,” Tony begins cautiously, and then there’s a sudden sense of movement and the screech of metal scraping on concrete.

While James has been babysitting Barton, Steve has stepped away from Tasha and Thor, moving silently around the group. When within arm’s distance of the Iron Man armor he reached out and hauled Tony into him, suit and all, stretching up the bare inch to plant a kiss firmly on Stark’s mouth. It happens in a heartbeat, maybe less, and James is too stunned to stop it.

Sam’s jaw drops wide, shock evident on his face. “What the hell, STEVE?”

Watching the two heroes kiss, James feels something in his gut fill with acid.

 _‘What the fuck are you thinking, Steve?’_  He wonders as he watches his best friend kiss his _best guy_.  _‘What the ever-loving hell?’_

What seems like hours later -only heartbeats, James knows- Tony pushes back, stumbling out of Steve’s grip with a wide, baffled expression. He puts a gauntleted hand to his mouth for a moment, frowning at Steve before giving James a panicked look. “I didn’t- I mean, we’re not- I-  _James_.”

The stumbling crash of words fill up a portion of the Soldier’s chest that feels like it just got cleaved empty by Steve’s shield. He reacts to that soft, panicked voice with his own murmur, tone pitched low and soothing. “Hey, hey Tones. It’s ok, the whole team is being weird, you’re okay-”

It’s Sam -Sam, of all People!- that puts it together. He looks back and forth between the two of them and swears quietly. They don’t even notice, looking at each other in spite of the fact that Clint still hangs from James’s grip and Steve is standing off to the side with his lovestruck expression.

“Damn it,” Sam mutters, eyes wide behind his goggles. “Jesus... Fucking-”

“Hey, Language!” Steve grumbles, frowning at Sam and looking awake for half a minute. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Shut up, Steve.” James, Tony and Sam chorus.

“Holy shit,” Sam continues. “How am I the one to figure this out. JARVIS you better be recording this. Barnes, drop the archer and kiss your boy.”

“What?” James whips around and stares at Sam like he’s lost his mind. “Don’t tell me you’ve gone crazy too, Wilson.”

“Why do you want James to kiss Steve?” Tony asks, his voice softer than James would have expected. And… hurt? And that’s it, Tony sounds  _hurt_ because he thinks Sam just told James to kiss Steve.

 _‘We could break the Falcon’s arm, ensure he knows of his mistake?’_  Offers up the chilling voice of the Winter Soldier in the back of Bucky’s brain. He doesn’t agree to it, but it sure as hell  _sounds_ good.

“So far I’m immune,” Sam argues, waving it away. “And no, I don’t want Bucky to kiss Cap, are you kidding me? Barnes, drop Clint and kiss Stark, dumbass.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to prove?” The Soldier hissed demandingly.

Though at the first sight of movement from the tight group of Thor and Natasha and Steve, he pitches Clint their way. He’s not exactly willing to risk those three joining them when it’s fairly clear they’re still compromised. The resulting whoosh of an impact-forced exhale and tangle of limbs won’t hold them long, but Thor seems to be staring at Clint and Bucky can’t even see Tasha beyond their bodies, so he’s taking the win.

“Please just shut up and kiss the man?” Sam snaps. “For science, Stark, humor me.”

“Science, right…” Tony mumbles weakly, giving Steve a quick glance and then taking a step toward Bucky. “Uh, if you’re alright with it? I guess the Falcon wants to prove a point?”

“Not sure how I pictured this going, but why not?” James murmurs, gauging the distance between them before taking his own step into the arms of the Iron Man suit. Nearly chest to chest with the metal he can’t help lifting his metal hand, carefully cupping the palm over the precious glow of the arc reactor. “If you’re ok with it?”

“I’m fine,” Tony answered quickly, a frown creasing his brow as one gauntleted hand wrapped around the Soldier’s waist, palm splaying gently over the base of his spine. “What do you mean,  _‘not how you pictured this going’_?”

“Ain’t you supposed to be a genius?” James can’t help the smirk, rolling his shoulder in a shrug. “Which o' them words are you hung up on, Sugar? So I’ve thought about it, that can’t be too surprising.”

“Uh, yeah?” Tony argued, eyebrows climbing up his forehead in surprise. “It definitely can? Because I’m surprised right now. I’m… You’ve thought about kissing me?”

“Wha- Tony,” Now he’s shaking his head, a smile stretching across his face. “Jesus, Babydoll. You didn’t think I was just talk, did ya? I’ve been trying to ask you, honest I have, but I just didn’t know-”

“Look, this is cute, really it is.” Sam cuts in, snark making him impatient. “And if I’m right and this works then you can definitely go back to this conversation. Maybe at the Tower, in a room, by yourselves? But we only have so long before one of the other idiots on this team looks in this direction and decided to make out with one of us. So, for science -and I can’t believe I’m sayin’ this- can you two just  _shut up and kiss_  for a minute?”

James glances over to the tangle of bodies, then back to Tony with an inquisitive arch of one eyebrow. “Well, your call babe.”

“Let me think, do I want James Barnes to kiss me in the middle of a New York street?” Tony mused, quirking his lips and tilting his head like he’s actually considering it. “Mmmm,  **yes** . Of course, it’s yes, I’ve had a crush on you since I was twelve,  _Jesus_ , Barnes!”

“Oh, if you’ve been waiting since you were twelve, then…” James shrugs. “I guess I’ll get right on that, Mr. Stark.”

“For the love of all things sacred, just make out already,” Sam grumbles, turning his back to them and unfolding his wings. “If Cap rushes me, I’m airborne and you two can sort it out. There’s no way in hell I’m watching any more of this.”

“Starting to think he’s just jealous,” James offered in a low drawl, grinning slowly as he pulled Tony closer to his chest. “What do you think, Doll?”

“I’m starting to think you’re all talk, Barnes.”

“Well, I can’t have you thinkin’ that, now can I?” The Soldier grinned, looping his arm around the waist of the armor and holding Stark close. “Here goes everything.”

Sam shoots them an annoyed glance over his shoulder just in time to see the Soldier actually spin and dip the Iron Man costume, billionaire and all, over backward.

Tony goes with it, relaxing into the hold and grinning up at the Soldier with a challenging quirk of one eyebrow. He’s not surprised Barnes can hold the armor, though the over-the-top theatrics of it were certainly unexpected.  _‘Almost as unexpected as him wanting to kiss you in the first place.’_

“Whatever you’re thinkin’, you need to cut it out.” James admonishes, leaning in to gently brush his lips over the billionaire’s cheekbone. “If you ain’t got a clue how gone I am on you, then maybe you ain’t been payin’ attention.”

“Gone on me, huh?” Tony wonders, eyes falling closed as James’s lips move to his other cheek and repeats the gentle kiss. “How far gone?”

“You tell me,” James challenges, and kisses him before he can ask any further questions.

Admittedly, Tony Stark has kissed a lot of people. A whole list, really: kids way older than him at MIT, supermodels and actresses, actors and the sons of business rivals, business rivals themselves, some charming gymnasts and contortionists, more than a few celebrity athletes… More people than he’d care to count, but he’s kissed them, or been kissed by them.

And one of the things he’s learned is that first impressed are hardly ever ideal. Most of the time learning to be with someone is in the art of learning how to kiss them. At least, that’s Tony’s opinion. The fact that he’s single probably says enough about the opinions of the other parties. Maybe if he found someone willing to invest the time in learning how to kiss him, he’d settle down.

So maybe that’s why he stays passive in James’s grip, stays patient, waiting as the Winter Soldier gazes down at him like he’s memorizing Tony’s face. If he’s being honest, Tony doesn’t know what to expect, is torn between thinking it’s going to be awkward and it’s going to be good… Afraid that it’s going to be amazing and Bucky will tell him it was just to prove a point, or that it’ll be awful and Bucky will decide he never wants to do that again.

Of course, he should have known better. There’s no way that the Winter Soldier would do anything half-assed, and there’s no way that the charming James Barnes would be a bad kisser. Because he isn’t, of course, he isn’t. He’s  _perfect_.

James leans in and his eyes drift closed like he wants to concentrate solely on the kiss, doesn’t want anything else taking up even a modicum of his attention. The first brush of his lips is a soft stroke over Tony’s mouth, dry and gentle. The barely-there touch makes Tony sigh, makes his lips part on a surprised exhale that Barnes takes advantage of like it was his plan all along. The next press of his lips is firmer, a brush against Tony’s mouth that encourages his lips to part, to accept the damp stroke of James’s lower lip against his upper. There’s a shift and slide before the third touch, James dragging his upper lip down over Tony’s lower, encouraging the billionaire to open his mouth wider.

Tony keens, because he can’t help it, a soft whining sound escaping him as the Soldier mouths at him. In retaliation, James sets to sucking gently at his lip like he’s trying to swallow the sound. Tony admittedly loses track at that, armored hands gripping at the Winter Soldier’s gear as James’s tongue strokes the inside of his mouth, flicking over his teeth with a single-minded intensity. The billionaire can't help but get lost in it, leaning into the press of his Soldier's mouth, balanced trustingly in James's hands. Just as fast though it tapers off, coming to a gentle end. James withdraws, placing a soft, dry kiss on Tony’s lips before straightening them back up.

Tony blinks, shaking his head slightly as he looks up at James and grins. " _Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The End._ ”

“Hey.” James playfully frowns at him. “I understood that reference. It’s from that kissing book.”

“Mmm, between your movie references and the fact that you kiss like that… I think I’m gonna have to keep you around, Barnes.”

“Mmm, as you wish, Babydoll.” The Soldier smirked. “That suits me just fine. In fact, good luck getting rid of me now.”  

"Darling," Tony grins. "I wouldn't even think of it." 

From off to one side, Sam Wilson sighs loudly to remind them both that he's there. "Ya know, I'm happy for y'all, I am... But if you wanna come back down to Earth and help me with this current problem? I'd really appreciate it." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we finally got our First Kiss! How was it?  
> Remember I'm : [Available on Tumblr](http://wakandan-wardog.tumblr.com/) for Prompts, Chatter and Asks!  
> ❤️ ~Wardog


	6. Chapter 6

Midway through leaning down to press his forehead against Tony’s, James halts, heaving a sigh. “Babydoll, you’re gonna have to excuse me for just a minute.”

“I don’t really want to,” Tony replies, blinking long-lashed eyes up at him. “But if you insist.”

“Just a minute, Babe,” The Soldier promises, unwinding his arms. “For science.”

“Oh, well, in that case.” Tony shrugged giving a grin as he let James go. “By all means, for science.”

Stepping away from Tony -his true love?- James gives the genius a fond grin and then slides over to stand at Sam’s shoulder, looking down at Steve. He frowns at the still-confused Captain, then shrugs to himself. Steve climbs to his feet, still looking foggy and a bit bewildered.

“Only one way to be sure, really.” He says out loud.

“Wha?” Sam asks just as the soldier grabs the strap on his goggles and pulls them right off. “Damn it, Barnes! Now is not the time!”

“What are you two yellin’ about?” Steve wonders, brushing the dust off his uniform as he steps closer to Sam. “You ok?”

“Fine?” Sam wonders, sounding a little blank. “Are you ok?”

“I think so?” Steve tilts his head, frowning faintly like he’s trying to recall something.

“Hopeless, both of you,” James mutters and plants his hand on Sam’s back to give the man a strategic shove.

Sam falls because _of course, he does._ A nd Steve catches him because _of course, he does_. And maybe it’s the curse, maybe it’s just Steve in a battle scenario, Bucky couldn’t say. Either way, the Captain goes from staring at the Falcon to kissing him, and mostly Bucky’s just glad there’s silence.

“Hey Tones, I figured out how to make the bird be quiet.” He reports instead, tossing a grin at the billionaire. “Do I get a prize?”

“Only if you write it down,” Tony points out with a grin. “It’s only science if you write it down.”

Beyond the now kissing Captain and Falcon, Clint sits up with a groan. “Why do I feel like I fell off of a… _oh_.”

Tony shifted sideways, smirking at the archer as he promptly falls back to sprawl in the street. “I know it’s hard for you to remember, Hawkass, but you live in a million dollar tower in Manhattan. You don’t have to dumpster dive anymore.”

“Where the hell were you?” Clint asked plaintively. “Usually you stop me from doing stupid shit.”

“I’m just a man in a can, I’m not responsible for your poor judgment or your flights of fancy.” Tony countered. “That’s what the spider is for.”

“I’m not catching him if he leaps off a roof,” Natasha argued, sitting up with a wince. “He will just have to fall to his death, and hopefully my next choice will be smarter.”

“Hey, you guys seem like you’re back to normal!” Tony beamed. “That’s great! Does that mean Clint fell on your lips when Buckaroo tossed him? Brooklyn your aim is superb.”

“Easy for you to say, you didn’t take an archer to the face,” Natasha argued, frowning as she rubbed at her cheek. “So… I kissed Captain America and the God of Thunder… That happened.”

“Not too bad of a day at work,” Clint grinned. “Captain America’s a hell of a kisser.”

“Yeah,” Tony chuckled, glancing over to where Sam Wilson stands wrapped in the clinging arms of Captain America. “I think the Falcon is learning that now.”

“Each of our team is most pleasing to behold,” Thor pointed out, climbing to his feet. “I trust I gave no offense?”

“Other than having the worst luck with relatives and old flames?” Tony shrugged. “No harm done here. Can we go home now?”

“Yeah Babydoll,” Bucky grinned, reaching out to catch Tony’s gauntleted hand with his own metal one. “Let’s go home.”

“Wow,” Clint mumbled, eyeing the two of them. “I can already tell I’m gonna hate this.”

“Listen, people that sprawl over communal furniture in their undergarments don’t get a fucking vote,” Tony grumbled. “You wanna do that shit, do it in your _own_ kitchen.”

“Or just don’t do it at all,” Tasha argued as she found her feet, curling an arm around one of Clint’s. “No one but me needs to see that, _malen'kaya strela_.”

“Truer words…” Tony mumbles. “Alright boys, we’re still in public! Keep it off the street, Cap, there’s a perfectly good tower for you to roost in.”

“Don’t pick on him, he hasn’t been kissed in sixty years.” Natasha teased as they two finally separated.

“Come on, Romanoff,” Steve grumbled at the jeers as Sam pressed his face into the Captain’s shoulder and ignored the team for all he was worth.  

“I’m just saying he needs some serious work,” Natasha continues on like he hasn’t said a word. “Sam has to give him a crash course in modern romance.”

“Gosh, that sounds so hard,” Tony chirps, dry as a desert.

Sam giggles against Cap’s chest, and mutters something that sounds like, “Oh trust me, it _is_.”

“I hear that’s how it’s supposed to be,” Bucky smirked. “Why don’t you take me home and give me a crash course of my own, Sugar?”

“Ya know, that’s the best offer I’ve had in years.” Tony beamed, looping an arm around his Soldier’s waist. “How about you hold onto me, Gorgeous, and we beat everyone home?”

James whooped, looping his arms around his new boyfriend with a grin. “Take me up, Flyboy. There’s still a little bit of Valentine's day left, and I wanna cash in on that.”

“Is that today?... Huh,” Tony marveled, engaging his repulsors and soaring upward. “How about that… Guess it is a magnificent day.”

“‘S not so bad,” James allows, watching buildings skate by. “Still, fuck magic.”

“Cut it out, Barnes, I’m beginning to think we were made for each other.”

“Hold that thought until I get you alone and out of that suit, Handsome.” James gave a shark’s grin. “But if you can fly a little faster…”

“Way ahead of you, Soldier,” Tony confirms. “Hold on.”

"Go," Steve encourages quickly, waving a dismissive hand. "Please. _Please_." 

"We know when we're not wanted." Tony sniffs, pulling Bucky closer with a tilt of his armored head. "Come along, Bunny, we'll let the kids drive home without supervision." 

The Iron Man armor sweeps up into the sky, flight smooth and arcing even with the Winter Soldier in his grip as they leave the team behind. 

"Glad that finally worked out," Clint mutters in the silence of their departure. "But really, he's calling us kids? Come on, I'm driving!" 

"Shotgun," Natasha said peacefully, giving a shrug. "Ignore Tony, I happen to like your juvenile antics." 

"You'd be the only one," Sam grumbles, smirking at Clint. "Cut the counter surfing or I'm giving you flying lessons, HawkGuy." 

"Bring it on, FalconPunch," Clint taunted as they headed toward the QuinJet. "I know I can take you, I've got Russian Fury on my side." 

"Oh, we're bringing our significant others to the fight? You're toast then, Birdbrain." Sam beamed. "I'm dating _Captain America_." 

Steve gave Natasha a look, frowning at her when he caught the smirk she was shooting in his direction. "You two do what you want, but if you're going to start a fight or a prank war? I'm not getting involved." 

"You say that, but you owe me for D.C.," Sam reminds him with a grin. "Don't think I won't collect, _Captain_." 

Natasha glanced between the two, then laughed to herself. "Oh, this is going to be fun." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So these nerds have finally gotten together, they're adorable, and this story is done! Thanks for reading!  
> ❤️ ~Wardog

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's day! This was a random thought that totally exploded. I hope you guys had a great day, and if you don't have a Valentine, consider this my gift to you! 
> 
> Will you be mine?


End file.
